I don't know if it's a California thing, or maybe it's just me, but in terms of being neighborly, things have changed since I was a young girl (roughly 20-25 years ago). I remember playing in front yards and in the street with all of the kids on our block, whether it was during an intense game of snake-in-the grass, or during an exciting version of hide-and-go-seek on roller skates. Those days, those memories, seem like they belong to a world long since past: to a world where being kidnapped by a creep in a car was a distant threat, or where video games, cell phones, and the Internet didn't steal our sole attention. Obviously, there were dangers back then, and my parents took preventative measures; we weren't able to just roam all over the place with random people. But now, with as much as we know, it seems so unsafe to be neighborly! Or at the very least, it seems much more formal. Of course there are introductions, hellos, how are yous, etc., but I haven't been friends with my neighbors since I was younger, and I don't think it's just a kid thing. My parents became really close friends with their neighbors over 20 years ago, but aren't close with their current ones. They're courteous or whatever, like most of us, but not true friends. What's behind this? Is this a California thing, where there are just so many people around, we don't really need to be close with our neighbors because they won't necessarily consist of our only human interaction of the day? Maybe we don't need to rely on our neighbors as much as we used to since we now have access to so much aid, entertainment, etc. Or is it a technological thing, where we're more enveloped with worldly information and news than with what's going on right in our front yard? Please note: I'm clearly generalizing here, and writing about my personal experience, and what I've witnessed in terms of my family and friends. I'm sure this neighborly distance and mistrust isn't occurring across the country; I'd like to think that in smaller towns and communities, it's not. But anyways! How does this relate to literature?
Well, I'm finally reading Louisa M. Alcott's Little Women, which takes place during the Civil War in Concord, Massachusetts. I'm only a third of the way through, but I can't help but be won over by the March family, in spite of the overt sentimentality taking place. I'll have much more to reflect upon once I finish the novel, but for this week, one of the major realities that the text explores is the generosity, kindness, and graciousness that results from the hands of neighbors--from the hands of one's community. Indeed, one's "blessings" seem to be supplied by merely interacting with one's neighbors, but importantly, by doing so in a respectful way. The March family seems to be blessed emotionally, socially, and even materialistically for their manners and unselfish tendencies while interacting with others (including with other members of their own family), particularly with Laurie and Mr. Laurence, the wealthy teenager and his grandfather who live next door. By sharing company with each other, both families benefit from their neighbor's gender, which would have remained absent in their own home if their neighborly friendship/courtesy did not exist (Mr. March is away at war, while Laurie's parents are no longer living). Up to this point in the novel, it seems as if individuals in the text gain the most by acting as such--by being consciously aware of what it means to be a good neighbor. For example, Jo and the rest of her family gladly provide personal items and goods for Laurie in order to comfort him when he is sick, thereby establishing a strong friendship and bond with the young gentleman. Giving such things is actually a sacrifice for the family since they are struggling financially. The men in this text play their part, as well: Mr. Laurence goes out of his way to ensure Beth's happiness by allowing her to enter his home unattended in order to play on his piano; he eventually gives her--this young girl he's not related to--a piano once belonging to his beloved granddaughter, who has since passed away. Doing so is obviously not required, but Mr. Laurence recognizes the girl's modest dreams to play on a piano, and does what he can in order to please her because he sees her humility as an unassuming "little woman." Thus far, then, the characters in Little Women are super cool neighbors, and through this display of friendly affection, I think Alcott emphasizes that such thoughtful and selfless behavior creates the most happiness and joy in one's life. Luckily, I am able to share in such a way with my friends and family, even though they do not happen to be my physical neighbors. In addition to my neighbors, I always try to be nice to strangers and coworkers, but not AS NICE as the Marches and Laurences are with each other. I don't know; maybe if I lived in Massachusetts 150 years ago, I would experience life differently. Well, I know I would because only 25 years ago I did experience life differently in California, in terms of my association with neighbors. So now we're back: what's changed since Alcott's time and locale? What's changed over the past 25 years just in California? Must we experience such displays of respect, courtesy, and friendliness only in books written years ago? Please share your thoughts!
I never had that experience growing up 1) because we moved a lot and 2) there were no kids my age. I think part of the problem today is that we don't stay as rooted as we once did. My grandparents have lived in there house nearly 40 years, and though we have just moved we have already talked about where we would go next. I don't think we have the same sense of permanence as we used to. The Marchs' were going to live there forever and even when the girls grow up and move out, they don't move far. I don't know if video games/internet is most of it. I wonder if it is mostly due to the technology of transportation. Distance is nearly meaningless, which redefines who are neighbors are and what that means. I think in order to keep that neighborly feeling we should concentrate on the acts of charity exemplified in Little Women. We can create still create neighborhoods in the same way they did.
ReplyDeleteIt is important to note that not all the rich are neighborly. In fact, most of the very rich (besides Laurie and his grandpa) are shown to be selfish and mean. Also, there is still a class system. Though the Marchs' given the Hummels food, they would never invite them for dinner....just some thoughts.
I think you're right, W: we aren't as rooted as we used to be, or we aren't forced to have that same sense of permanence. This notion is what I was referring to when I wrote of how much accessbility we have these days: we don't need to rely on our neighbors for friendship because we can easily transport ourselves to wherever our friends are; anyone can basically ride on airplanes these days, where it seemed more of a luxury years ago. Also, we can communicate with our friends and family more easily, too, through cell phones, texting, email, facebook, etc. I like your idea that we are, in essence, still creating sorts of communities in this way, even though our friends and family don't necessarily live within close proximity. Still, I wonder if we are hurting ourselves by not opening up as much to our physical neighbors. I seem fine right now, so I don't think so, but who knows?
ReplyDeleteAlso, I hope I didn't give the impression that I only thought Laurie and Mr. Lawrence were neighborly because of their wealth. That was not my intention at all; in fact, it didn't even cross my mind, though maybe it should have. I'm not sure. I actually think that the neighbors mostly benefit from each other because they provide friendship and company for each other, not necessarily items, though giving or offering "things" often is a display of one's intrinsic emotions. The March Family and Mr. Laurence both provide what they do (care package for Laurie and piano for Beth) merely because they can, and I think they are given from the heart, without any sort of alterior motives or expectations. Anyway! The idea of class is definitely interesting, especially because of the March family's precarious position, having once been better off. I'll keep it in mind as I finish the novel!
My mentioning of class was just to qualify their neighborness. Although they are friendly with their neighbors, they aren't friends with all of them. The March children wouldn't play with the Hummel children like you did with your friends. So I was just wandering if it is as different as it might feel. Sometimes when we talk about the past it seems like it might not be all that different. Does that make sense?
ReplyDeleteThat said, I don't think we are as trusting as we used to be because of dangers that seem to be more prominent now. And, that seems to make us distrust our neighbors through fear of who they could be.